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a little space to ponder; |
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Profile |
a little space to ponder; |
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Sunday, March 23, 2008
generally pissed off i'll finish this later I'm getting a headache. >___> Thanks to Actology. I might just pull out... Okay I'm back again. I've showed my pathetic side to so many people last Friday. One of the many people is Nasheel, Vaenisaa, Ms. Ngoo, Jon.....Carolyn, Jolene, alot of people.... I dont care if my grammar is getting out of hand over here. * I might curse from here on* I'm just very frustrated. You see, some how or rather i was pulled into this fucking ACTology competition organized by Petrosains. I wish i quit at the starting then i wouldn't have faced a whole hell lot of problems. Anyway, the theme of the whole thing is 'What does energy mean to you?' Fucking big and wide scope. We faced like fucking whole lot of problems before the initial deadline, 29th February. But when i look back, it was so freaking smooth sailing then. The problem started when the deadline was extended to 31st March. And Kaelan came up with a fucking timeline. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! You don't have to come up with a timeline with 'feasibility' in it, right? Everyone's not as fucking smart as you! Don't you understand?! So what if you get things fucking done because of your leadership? So what if you're a child prodigy or whatever you call yourself? So what if you've won countless of pointless competitions?? Don't you get it that most people don't really FUCKING CARE?? That never crossed your mind at all, huh? *Fine, I'm overreacting here, but i swear, as you read on, you'll end up as frustrated as me.* Then i got the wind that Kaelan is exercising his powers too much over the group. Somehow no one sees my point of view. But i just ignored it and started to throw balled up cellophane tape at James' unibrow. Then he said something like "You know, I'm the one that's doing everything". Then, I blew it. But i kept my raw feelings inside, though. I went back and complained the ears off my sister. Sorry, yeah, sis? He asked everyone to think of stories, i was too lazy to think up of one because he's too fucking clever that he came up with like ---- 20 more "SAI-NOP-SEES". Dude, sorry to break the fact to you, but its pronounced "SEE-Nop-Sees". If you're all that professional, you would've known that "See-nop-sees" is the accurate pronounciation. I checked so that i wouldn't be flamed by certain Kaelan/Grammar-lovers. The word i meant was "synopsis". Anyway, somehow or rather, V and Nash came up with a synopsis thats along their type of thoughts.... You know, rock, music, wackyness, and to give them a weedle bit of hope, i drafted out a synopsis. Then somehow, the teachers are okay with it and I did the storyboard lah (don't ask why). After the holidays, suddenly people said that they were going with Kaelan's idea. I was cool with it.. But a little frustrated that no one actually include me in their 'meetings'. Not that i care so much. >__> So, Jon thought i was dissapointed/angry. Which i wasn't and Kaelan thought i had problems with it. DUDE! Its just because of my fleeting bitterness towards the world. The next day, Ms. Ngoo said that they wanna split the group and made Nasheel the leader for the other group. Somehow at the end of the day, Nash wants to go over to Kaelan's group because its safer. Naturally, V follows because she and Nasheel are stuck together. And then so much more havoc happens and we decide to be a group again when Pn. Chan suddenly insisted to split the group again. Then Jon made up SUCH A FUSS about it. We settled the problem. Jon called me the next day and wants the group to get back together again. He combined both Kaelan's idea and the concert idea then coming up with a better synopsis. Talking 2 and 1/2 hours on the phone was quite worth it because i showed my 'ok-ness' with anything that might come next. We settled everything, i typed up the brand new synopsis and asked Carolyn to help me print. She is SUCH an angel because she's printing for me stuff that isn't her resposibility! Thanks so much. I know my grammar sucks terribly now, but i don't care. Then, its Friday, the day i showed my very pathetic side. Kaelan sudenly wanted to really split up the group, and kidnapping Su Fun on the way giving the reason that he doesn't have enough potential actors. Thats what you get for splitting the group! So, Jon still wanted to get the group back together. I tried to convince him that since Mr. I'm-So-Mighty-Kaelan thinks that the world revolves around him and only him, for once we should do something that makes him happy. Jon nearly wanted to kill himself because he thinks that he's losing a good friend. Honestly, i don't what kind of good friend you see in Kaelan. he's not someone you call when you're in need of "therapy". Or when you need someone to lean on, he's not the person to call. so the question is, what's so great about this conceited guy? I know, i might sound very bitter here, but.... thats the cold and hard truth. Bite on it all you want. in some way, our group got back Su Fun but we lost Malisa. I still feel her loss. I've known her since std1/2. Our friendship goes way back. >__< And then, Nasheel and V decided to back out. now, do you get why I was emo and crying last Friday? I couldn't take the stress anymore. Nasheel said that she doesn't understand why i have to cry when she's quitting the group. Of course she doesn't! She doesn't
Heck, that's when i broke down i couldn't take it. Its such a crucial moemnt like Ms. Ngoo said and she chosed that moment to quit. The reason? she's skipped too much class and is scoring badly. And we have to think in the long run that if we get chosen, we'll have to waste alot of time. Hello? Who's the one wasting time here? Certainly not her! All she needs to do is just give input during discussions and THATS it! What I would have to do in the long run, i shudder to think about it. Surely Jon will call me to no ends of the Earth and I'll be wasting alot of time. Nasheel is one of my good friends and all, but i just can't stand the part just now, which is why i sounded bitter. I just hope that she doesn't mind ignore this. i need to let all my feelings out or it'll eat me up inside. Which do you prefer? An emo Wei Yng or the jolly one? If you prefer the latter, then shut up and let me ramble on. I can see by the look of her face that she's still not happy that we kind of forced her not to join. But heck, we are only step away from submitting the form. She's the obstacle that's stopping us. I know that all of the above I've mentioned, I've thoroughly expressed my dislike for Kaelan totally, but..... no hard feelings, dude if you're reading this. I just have to let it all out or i might kill myself for real. You don't want a dead classmate, do you? But i still stand by my ramblings and you have to deal with the fact that.... i dislike you. I'm sure you dislike me too. But i don't care. You're not even my friend to start off with. Just so you know, many people has issues with you. Just that you are floating too high up in the sky to notice.
Readers, I'm sorry to burden you with my terribly bitter post, but please, bear with it. I'll post something entirely differrent the very next day. Thanks for reading. :) -weiyng. 12:22 AM
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